THEDADABASE centralized. dadified. terrible.

Browse Dad Jokes

// filtered by #OneLiner — 86
I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.
Priests make holy water by boiling the hell out of it.
Most people get shocked when they find out I'm not an electrician.
I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.
People who take care of chickens are literally Chicken Tenders.
To those suffering from paranoia, I just want to remind you... [whispering] you're not alone!
Orion's Belt is a terrible waste of space. I know, terrible joke; 3 stars.
A kidnappers favorite shoes: white vans.
I told my wife she needs to start embracing her mistakes, so she gave me a hug.
I have a hard time trusting trees. They seem kinda shady.
Yo did you hear about the guy who was grilling? He burnt the meat, he called it a mis-steak.
Back in MY day, my boss paid me under the table. He was a short man; couldn't reach over it.