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// filtered by #OneLiner — 86
I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.
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OneLiner Relationships
Priests make holy water by boiling the hell out of it.
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Classic FunFact OneLiner Religion
Most people get shocked when they find out I'm not an electrician.
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FunFact OneLiner Work
I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.
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Buildings Classic Fear OneLiner
People who take care of chickens are literally Chicken Tenders.
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Animals Deepthoughts FoodAndDrinks OneLiner
To those suffering from paranoia, I just want to remind you... [whispering] you're not alone!
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Fear OneLiner
Orion's Belt is a terrible waste of space. I know, terrible joke; 3 stars.
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OneLiner Science Space
A kidnappers favorite shoes: white vans.
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Classic Crime OneLiner
I told my wife she needs to start embracing her mistakes, so she gave me a hug.
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OneLiner Relationships
I have a hard time trusting trees. They seem kinda shady.
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OneLiner Plants
Yo did you hear about the guy who was grilling? He burnt the meat, he called it a mis-steak.
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FoodAndDrinks OneLiner
Back in MY day, my boss paid me under the table. He was a short man; couldn't reach over it.
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OneLiner Work