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// filtered by #Crime — 53
When I was a kid, you could go into a store with one dollar, and then come out with a drink, four candy bars, a bag of chips, and some gum. But today? There's cameras everywhere!
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Crime Money Time
Today a man with a stutter was convicted and sentenced to prison for life, but his victims are worried he won't finish his sentence.
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Crime Disability OneLiner
I got robbed by six dwarves yesterday. Not Happy.
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Crime Culture OneLiner
Two guys were arrested for stealing a calendar. They each got six months.
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Crime Time
Police are reporting they've arrested the Energizer Bunny. He's being charged with battery.
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Crime Culture
I think I'm going to give up my career as a cat burglar, way too many scratches.
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Animals Crime Work
I donated a kidney once and people loved me for it. But when I came back with five more, they wanted to call the police.
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Crime Medical Body
The man who stole my journal recently died. My thoughts are with his family.
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Crime Family Funeral
It seems killer whales have started attacking boats on the West Coast at an alarming rate. Police fear it might be an act of orca-nized crime. I think they fear there's a full on crime fin-dicate behind the attacks. Others believe the crime theory is a bit fishy, and boaters are just blubbering over mother nature fighting back. Either way, they are definitely doing it on porpoise.
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Animals Boats Crime Pun-Ishing Nature
Hobbits are lucky because they never get mugged. No criminal will stoop so low.
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Crime Fantasy KingsAndKingdoms
It's easy for thieves to stop other thieves from snatching up their territory. They just bandit.
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Crime Fantasy
You might think an assassin is lazy for staying in bed all day, but they're working undercover.
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Crime Fantasy FunFact