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So I started raising racing deer. I'm really hoping to make a quick buck.
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Animals
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OneLiner
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When I was a kid, you could go into a store with one dollar, and then come out with a drink, four candy bars, a bag of chips, and some gum. But today? There's cameras everywhere!
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My wife says I'm the cheapest man alive. I'm not buying it.
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It was raining coins today. We're really starting to see the product of climate change.
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Environmental
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Inflation is even taking the cost of balloons sky high!
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Money
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This year I'm finally going to sign up for the 401k. I've got to start training now because I've never run that far before.
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I used to create and sell paintings of Moses. Sales weren't great, but it was enough to make a prophet.
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Bible
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I Keep a picture of my wife and daughter in my wallet so I can remember why I have no money in it.
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I used to wonder how much it cost Santa to park his sleigh. Then I realized it cost him nothing; it's on the house.
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Christmas
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I was at the bank and saw an old lady who was having trouble with the ATM. She said she just wanted to check her balance. So I pushed her over. I just wanted to help.
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What do you call a poor Santa Claus? Saint Nickel-less
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Christmas
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I checked my insurance policy and am really worried! If our blankets get stolen in the middle of the night, we won't be covered!
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