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// all jokes — 567
People often think of zombies as being rotten and gross. But many of them do use soap, specifically Dawn of The Dead.
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Shopping Halloween Product
I was so bad at school. I failed math so many times I can't even count.
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Math School
So I started raising racing deer. I'm really hoping to make a quick buck.
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Animals Money OneLiner Sports
I tried to print something and then heard music coming from my printer. Turns out it was a paper jam.
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Music Technology
I just quit my terrible job at the candy store. So long, suckers!
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FoodAndDrinks Work
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
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Words
I lost three fingers on my dominant hand. I asked the doc if I'd still be about to write with it. He replied, "Maybe, but I wouldn't count on it."
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Medical
What ever you do, don't spell "part" backwards: It's a Trap!
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Culture OneLiner Words
My wife told me if I didn't stop singing "I'm a Believer," then she'd leave me. I thought she was kidding, but then I saw her face.
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Music Relationships
When I was a kid, you could go into a store with one dollar, and then come out with a drink, four candy bars, a bag of chips, and some gum. But today? There's cameras everywhere!
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Crime Money Time
My wife says I'm the cheapest man alive. I'm not buying it.
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Money Relationships
Did you know that you're born with four kidneys? But as you get older, two of them turn into adult-knees.
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Medical BetterOutLoud