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// filtered by #Relationships — 51
My wife thinks our kids are spoiled, but I think all kids smell like that.
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Family Kids OneLiner Relationships
So exactly how much kindness does it take to kill a person? Because I only have so much kindness left, but a really long list of people....
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Deepthoughts Funeral Relationships
A friend started dating a soccer goalie. When asked what attracted my friend to him, she said, "As soon as I saw him, I knew he was a keeper."
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Relationships Sports
A new study said that most husbands don't know their wife's favorite flower. But I know my wife's is self-rising.
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FoodAndDrinks Plants Relationships BetterOutLoud
My wife told me if I didn't stop singing "I'm a Believer," then she'd leave me. I thought she was kidding, but then I saw her face.
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Music Relationships
My wife says I'm the cheapest man alive. I'm not buying it.
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Money Relationships
My wife wanted me to put ketchup on the shopping list. Now I can't read any of it!
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FoodAndDrinks Relationships Shopping
I'm convinced all my haters must work in a movie theater, because they're clearly projecting.
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Relationships Work
The construction workers had issues, but they hammered them out.
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Relationships Work
My wife asked me, "How do I look?" I got really concerned and told her, "With your eyes."
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Classic Relationships Body
Some say every couple's relationship could be defined as psychological. One person is logical and the other is psycho.
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Relationships
After having a bad day, my wife tried to give me a silver lining, reminding me that it's not so bad: I could be stuck in a hole underground filled with water. I know she meant well.
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Deepthoughts Relationships Words