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My wife told me if I didn't stop singing "I'm a Believer," then she'd leave me. I thought she was kidding, but then I saw her face.

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Music Relationships

My wife says I'm the cheapest man alive. I'm not buying it.

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Money Relationships

My wife wanted me to put ketchup on the shopping list. Now I can't read any of it!

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FoodAndDrinks Relationships Shopping

I'm convinced all my haters must work in a movie theater, because they're clearly projecting.

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Relationships Work

The construction workers had issues, but they hammered them out.

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Relationships Work

My wife asked me, "How do I look?" I got really concerned and told her, "With your eyes."

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Classic Relationships Body

Some say every couple's relationship could be defined as psychological. One person is logical and the other is psycho.

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Relationships

After having a bad day, my wife tried to give me a silver lining, reminding me that it's not so bad: I could be stuck in a hole underground filled with water. I know she meant well.

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Deepthoughts Relationships Words

I bought my wife a diamond ring, but the dog ate it. Now it's a diamond in the ruff.

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Animals FoodAndDrinks Relationships

I first met my wife while we were both working in a glue factory. We bonded immediately. I'm hopeful our marriage will stick and she never leaves my side.

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Pun-Ishing Relationships Work

My wife told me to stop bothering her while she worked, or else she'll drag my face across the keyboard. I'm not too worried, though. I'm sure she just awsfghtthh thedccbjuikknmkloiijhgvv .hgv,zxfdsweto fcvggyhjjjjikkmjjrtuiikjnnmkll

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Relationships Technology Work BetterInWriting

I finished a website last week. It's a dating website for old people. I'm calling it "Carbon Dating"

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Relationships Science Technology Work