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// filtered by #Family — 18
My wife thinks our kids are spoiled, but I think all kids smell like that.
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Family Kids OneLiner Relationships
I met a fireman the other day. He also speaks Spanish. He has two sons named José and Hose B.
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Family Kids Work BetterOutLoud
Parents need to remember that children are mostly invincible, they can only take minor damage.
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Family Kids Medical
My grandfather died peacefully in his sleep, unlike the passengers in his car.
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Cars Family Funeral
I was so angry with my son for losing his cello, but I insisted on staying calm and not resort to violins.
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Family Kids Music OneLiner
I told my daughter she had to go to bed because the cows were sleeping in the fields. She replied, "What's that got to do with anything?" "Because it's pasture bedtime!"
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Animals Classic Family Farm Kids
I asked my kid what he learned in school today. "Apparently not enough, because I have to go back tomorrow!"
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Family Kids Learning School
The man who stole my journal recently died. My thoughts are with his family.
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Crime Family Funeral
I went to get a vasectomy because I didn't want to have kids anymore. But then I came home, and they're still there. It didn't work.
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Family Kids Medical
A joke becomes a dad joke only when it becomes a-parent.
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Classic Family
My dad asked me if I wanted to join him for some hunting. I told him, "I'm game," so he shot me.
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Family Weapons
The other day I got my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder.
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Family Tools