THEDADABASE centralized. dadified. terrible.
+ Submit a Joke

Browse Dad Jokes

// filtered by #Holidays — 12
With Mother's Day coming up, I noticed they don't make Mom Tarts. They only make Pop Tarts. I thought about this long and hard, and I think this is due to the Pastry-archy.
★ ★ ★ ★
FoodAndDrinks Gender Holidays
This year, I asked Santa for a globe, and he delivered! This gift means the world to me.
★ ★ ★ ★
Holidays World
I don't believe in the Easter Bunny. I guess that makes me egg-nostic.
★ ★ ★ ★
Holidays Religion
I went to a halloween party last night dressed as a globe. I didn't talk to anyone, though. I was in my own little world.
★ ★ ★ ★
Holidays World
I used to wonder how much it cost Santa to park his sleigh. Then I realized it cost him nothing; it's on the house.
★ ★ ★ ★
Holidays Money
Why did the vampire suck at art? Because it could only draw blood.
★ ★ ★ ★
Culture Holidays
Did you know ghouls and demons often hang out together? Apparently, demons are a ghouls best friend.
★ ★ ★ ★
Culture Holidays
What do you call a poor Santa Claus? Saint Nickel-less
★ ★ ★ ★
Holidays Money
I started carrying around a small stone with me to throw at people who sing or play Christmas songs before Thanksgiving. It's my jingle bell rock.
★ ★ ★ ★
Holidays Music
This year for Thanksgiving, we're unfortunately going to have unseasoned turkey. I just ran out of thyme.
★ ★ ★ ★
FoodAndDrinks Holidays
A dyslexic man accidentally sold his soul to Santa.
★ ★ ★ ★
Disability Holidays OneLiner
He's making a database, He's sorting it twice, SELECT * from contacts WHERE behavior = 'nice', SQL Clause is coming to town!
★ ★ ★ ★
Holidays Medical Technology